Asked if she could join me in my self-defense classes. Yes.And Bear, my best friend. We don’t see each other as often as we used to, but we instantly reestablish our closeness every time we get together. And now that I’m helping him with Barry’s blackmail problem ... well, all the better.My job. Sometimes it’s frustrating. Boring. Scary. But I love it. Love being out on my own.So, happy days. But not gloating days. More thankful for my blessings than bragging about them. I don’t want Nemesis stalking me. And she shouldn’t. Thankfulness doesn’t draw her ire. Does it?I feel as if I have two lives. Maybe most folks do. There’s my outside life, work, social, Meyer Boulevard. Like that.Then there’s life inside the Wrigley. Vanessa of course. Walker and Pilar. Family. But there’s also the Wrigley heartbeat. The hotel lobby with its gift stand / newsstand. Check-in traffic. People watchers.The restaurant. Bar. Speakeasy. But those are more nighttime destinations for us.Work and school. As I continued to monitor her correspondence her mood seemed to be slipping. She wrote to StTriniansMiss: ‘I just feel so unfulfilled. I think that is why I am here really, I mean on the site. But then I am not saying I want to leave my husband. But I feel like I have to experience something like this to really feel alive. I wonder if you can understand me?’ StTriniansMiss replied that she did understand, she wanted the same at one time but realised it was impossible. She had once paid a male escort to dress up and spank her – but it was not good. She knew it wasn’t real though he had done his best to play the part. That is why she writes stories, as an outlet for desires which can never be fulfilled. In everyday life I began to notice Sophie was looking depressed a lot of the time, or at least a bit down. I often tried talking to her but she always seemed miles away. She let me make love to her now and again. Though it was enjoyable it was one sided. In the meantime her.
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